<< Movie quotes from Raging Bull: Quotes from the movie Raging Bull|
Filmzitate aus Dumm und Dümmer: Zitate aus dem Film Dumm und Dümmer
$275-you, maybe you should stick with this.
wait wait the city is too miles away.....we just have to keep our eyes peeled
#1 Why would she meet you at a bar at 10am?
#2 I just thought she was a raging alcoholic.
#1. Where to go? Where do you want to go? #2. Somewhere warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. A place where beautiful women cavort like the salmon of Copastrono. I'm talking about a little place called Assspen. #2. I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes...what a minute! You're going to Aspen to find the girl who lost her briefcase, right?
#1.where you go. #2.Aspen. #1.California beautiful.
#1: Go to the airport? #2: Yes. #1: Fly somewhere?
(1) Uh oh,... (2) What? What's happening? (1) They spilled the salt, that's the thing. Spilling the salt is very unfortunate. We drive halfway across the country, the last thing we need is bad luck. Quick, throw some salt over your right shoulder! (3) What the hell!
(1) ...she touched my leg... (2) OK! Kill him!!
(1) mocking…. (2)yes… (1)ing… (2)yes (1)BIRD (2)yes
(1)S-Swimmy, Swammy, S-Slappy, S-Swan-Swanson, Swanson? (2) Well, maybe it's on the briefcase. (1) Oh yes! Samsonite! I was far away!
(Harry) Look at that butt! (Loyd) yes, he needs to train!
(Joe) Maybe if we destroy the apartment, they'll get the message. (Killer #2) I don't think they'll get the message from Joe. I mean, the guy has worms in his living room!
(Ms. Nutteborn)… Now I hardly have time to prepare them! (Harry) Oh Mrs.Nute...Nutter...(1)BORN!(2) Born...Nutteborn, you don't have to prepare her mama, I shorn and groomed her myself and I stand by my achievement (open the door and the dogs are covered in ketchup and mustard) Actually, you might just want to run a brush through them.
(indistinct) Hello. You wouldn't happen to have a cup of warm water, would you?
(throws Harry a coffee cup) Hey! I was wondering when you got up?! Harry: How long have I been out? Lloyd: (yawning) I'd say a good five hours..
(woman) ... okay, you seem harmless enough. My number is 555-21...wait, that's my old number! Ha! You know how you get those numbers mixed up sometimes... (Harry) JUST GIVE THE FUCKING NUMBER! (Woman) Well, you know what, if you're being pushy, just forget it!
)Mary(We've had some, uh, family issues... but I don't want to bore you with that.
) Harry (Thanks.
,
- I drove her to the airport. Sparks flew, movements ran high... She actually spoke to me, man!
- Get out?
- Oh, I, I...
- Pull over! Pull over!
- What? Oh it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing.
- Excuse me Flo? ... Flo likes the TV show ... What's the soup of the day?
-It's the soup of the day
-Mmmm... that sounds good, I'll take that.
- When I met Mary, I got this old-fashioned romantic feeling where I would do anything to bang her
– that is a special feeling
……your name is HARRY, isn’t it?!
...and then she said, I don't know, but that sure is a nice ski mask.
...no, but that's a really nice ski mask!
… Now I hardly have time to prepare them! (Harry) Oh Mrs.Nute...Nutter...(1)BORN!(2) Born...Nutteborn, you don't have to prepare her mama, I shorn and groomed her myself and I stand by my achievement (open the door and the dogs are covered in ketchup and mustard) Actually, you might just want to run a brush through them.
...so he said, "Do you love me?" and she said, "I don't know, but that's a really nice ski mask."
1) And do you know what he did next? 2) NO! AND I DON'T CARE!! 1) Well, he came home and wanted to fix the sink! I could not believe it!!
1) But what if he shoots you in the head? 2) *pant* (looks at FBI agent) yeah, what if he shot me in the head? 3) This is a chance we were willing to take.
1) I thought the Rocky Mountains were rockier than these. 2) I thought the same thing. 1) That John Denver is full of shit, man.
1) I was expecting the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than these 2) I thought the same thing... that John Denver is full of shit, man
1) Man, you're a pathetic loser. No offense 2) No, nothing taken.
1) Nice horns you have there. 2) I beg your pardon? 1) The owls.
1) Please kill me first 2) No, no, kill me. Yesterday was the best day of my life. Mary and I went skiing, had a snowball fight, built a snowman, she touched my leg. 1) OK, KILL HIM!!!!!! (The gun goes off and the bullet hits person 2 in the chest and he falls on the bed.) 1) You killed my best friend!!!!
1) So what happens, this guy gets some jerk to pay his check and gets away with it? 2) No, in the movie they catch up with him half a mile down the road and slit his throat. It was good!
1) That's a very nice accent you have. New Jersey? 2) Austria! Good day my friend! Let's put a shrimp on the barbie! 2) Let's not.
1) Those are nice hooters you have there. 2) What? 1) The owls, they are beautiful.
1) What if he shoots me in the face? 2) That was a risk we wanted to take.
1) Where did you learn this? 2) Seen once in a movie. 1) So what, this guy makes this poor git pay his bill and he gets away with it? 2) No, about half a mile down the road they catch up with him and slit his throat, yes it was good. MMMMMMMM Harry, stop when you get a chance. i have to pee
1) You sold my dead bird to a blind child? Petie didn't even have a head! 2) Harry, I took care of it! (The next scene shows the child holding a taped parakeet holding its severed head to its neck.)
1) Hello, buddy! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie! 2)Let's not.
1) How was your day? 2) Not bad, I fell off the passenger boarding bridge again.
1) I was expecting the Rocky Mountains to be a bit rockier. 2) I thought the same thing. That John Denver sucks, man.
1) I need to go to the bathroom. 2) JUST GO!!!!
1) More like one in a million
2) So you're telling me there's still a chance?
1) More like one in a million
2) So you're telling me there's still a chance? YES!!!
1) Nice accent... jersey? 2) No Austria. 1) Oh, let's put another shrimp on top of the barbi. 2) (strange smile)
1)RADIO!?! Wer braucht ein Radio!?! SPOTTING!!! 2) ING!!! !)SPOT!!! 2) ING!!!
1&2) SPOT Throttle!!!
1) Schwanson? Sponge? 2) Maybe the name is on the bag. 1) SAMSONITE.. I was gone
1) That was awesome! How did you come up with such a scheme? 2) I saw it in a movie. 1) So what happened? Two guys tricked someone into paying their bill and got away with it? 2) No, in the movie they catch up with them about a half mile down the road and slit their throats. It was good!
1) What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me dating? 2) Not good. 1) You mean like one in a hundred? 2) More like one in a million. 1) So you're telling me there's still a chance?
1) What's up Harry, a Philly breaks your heart? 2) No, it was a girl.
1) you had an extra pair of gloves with you the whole time 2) ya! Were in the Rockies!
1) THEY SPILLED THE SALT. The last thing we need about going on an overland trip is you spill the salt, now throw it over your shoulder.
1) it's you 2) no, it's you 1) it's you quinces 2) it's you anti-quinzen stamped there no erasers 1) it's you anti-quinzen double-stamped there no erasers 2) it's you anti- Quincies triple stamped it no erasers touch blue to make it true 1) you can't triple stamp a double stamp, Lloyd, you can't triple stamp a double stamp, Lloyd, Lloyd
1-I can e.g. B. I can no longer feel my fingers, they are numb
2-oooh... maybe you should wear those extra gloves
1. Austria? Ha! Good day buddy! Let's give the barbie another sha-rimp! 2. Let's not!
1. Come on, let me do them, let me do both, you don't have to worry! 2. Just shut up! We don't even know these guys! You don't kill people you don't know, that's a rule!
1. Excuse me, do you know where the hospital is? My driver got lost and I'm supposed to give a presentation in about 20 minutes. 2. You go straight and turn left over the bridge. 1. That's a wonderful accent you have. New Jersey? 2. Austria. 1. Austria! Haha! (Australian accent) Hello buddy, let's put another shrimp on the barbie! 2. Let's not!
1. I have room for one more if you're still headed to Aspen. 2. Where did you find this? 1. Some boy in town traded the van for him, right. I can do 70 miles a gallon on this pig. 2. You know Lloyd, just when I think you can't get any dumber you go and do something like that...AND FULLY REDEEM YOU!
1. I c-can't feel my fingers anymore, Lloyd, they-they're numb! 2. Maybe you should wear this pair of extra gloves. My hands are starting to sweat. 1. Extra gloves? You had that pair of extra gloves the whole time? 2. Yes, we're in the Rockies.
1. I'll tell you where. Somewhere warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women flow instinctively like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
2. Oh I don't know Lloyd. The French are assholes.
1. I'm only human, Harry! Everyone can make a mistake! C'mon, get up big baby, so we backed up a bit! 2. A TAD? A BIT, LLOYD? YOU'VE JUST DRIVEN US ONE SIXTH OF THE COUNTRY IN THE WRONG DIRECTION! NOW WE DON'T HAVE MONEY TO COME TO ASPEN, WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO GO HOME, WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO EAT, WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO SLEEP! 1. Harry, we're in a big hole right now and need to dig ourselves out! 2. You are right, you are absolutely right! (walks) 1. Where are you going? 2. Home! I go home! 1. Well, excuse me MR. PERFECT! I guess I forgot you never make a mistake!
1. Life is fragile, Harry. One minute you're munching on a burger and the next you're dead meat. 2. Well he blamed me, those were his last words. 1. Not if you count the gurgling sound.
1st Mock 2nd OF 1st ING 2nd OF 1st Bird 2nd OF 1st OF 2nd OF. SPOTBIRD!
1. Once we bred a bulldog with a shitzu. 2. Really, this is weird. 1. Yes, we called it bullshit. (Harry laughs hissterically)
1. We drove around all day and there is not a single job in this town, there is nothing, nada, zip! 2. Yes, unless you want to work 40 hours a week!
1. You sold my dead bird to a blind child? 2. Harry... I took care of that.
1.) Hey Loyd, there are also people who want to ride. 2.) Pick them up
1.) Just when I'm thinking you couldn't possibly get any dumber, you go and pull off a stunt like that! AND REDEEM IN FULL!
1.) Man, the Rocky Mountains sure are flat. 2.) Yes, that John Denver guy was full of shit.
1.)T..T..T-he….2.)The
1.- You sold Petey!?
2.- Pretty bird, pretty bird.
1. Hey Lloyd. 2. Hello Harry. 3. How was your day? 4. Not too bad, fell off the jet again.
1.Tic tac sir 2.Blahhhh get out of here
1. Did you want to eat this? 2. Yes, no, maybe... it occurred to me
1. What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me...I mean a girl like you and a guy like me getting together? 2. One in a million 1. So you're saying there's a chance?!!!
1.What is the soup of the day? 2.It's the soup of the day. 3. Mmmm, that sounds good, I'll take that.
1.Where are you from? 2.Austria. 1. Well... hello buddy! Let's throw another shrimp on the barbie.
1: I mean, if a beautiful girl can come between us, maybe we shouldn't be friends at all! 2: you just tell me where to sign 1: DIRECTLY ON MY ASS AFTER YOU KISS IT!!!!
1: I thought the Rocky Mountains were a bit rockier than here. 2: Yeah, that John Denver is full of shit, man.
1: MOCK 2: yes 1: ing 2: yes 1: bird 2; yes 1: yes 2: yes 1and2: Moking Bird, now you all heard that I am going to buy you a Moking Bird...
1: Now be honest. give it to me direct What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me getting together?
2: Well... not good.
1: Not good as... 1 out of 10?
2: More like 1 in a million.
1: So... you say there's a chance.
1: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me getting together? 2: Not good. 1: Not good as 1 out of 100? 2: I'd say closer to 1 in 1,000,000. 1: So you're telling me there's a chance! i read you
Harry: that's a nice set of horns you have there. Mary: Excuse me? Harry: the birds.. I mean the birds!
> sorry Flo? What is the soup of the day? >>It's the soup of the day. >Mmm, that sounds good, I think I'll take that.
a little place called Aspen... where fair ladies flock like the salmon from Capastrona
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh……haarrrryyy….your hands are freezing
The only thing we know about this man is that he is independently wealthy and completely insane
According to this map we only went 2 INCHES!!
According to this map, we only got about four inches. I don't think we have enough gas money.
Ah... time out.
ahh big gulps... see you later!
Alright, who is the DEADMAN that hit me with the salt shaker?
All we have to do is show a little class, show a little sophistication, and dress like a dirty shirt.
Are these your skis? Both?
Aspen……….where the beer flows like wine
Hope? CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!
Big sip, right? Alright!!…Welp, see you later
BIG DRINK HUH? Well, see you later
Big sip, huh.....welp, see you later!
Big gulps, huh... see you later
Big sips, right? Puppy, see you later
Big sips, right? Well, see you later!
both cheeks, both lips, right there, muah muah muah muah
Boy this party really died
Boy this party really died.
Come on, Joe, let me do it. let me do both You don't even have to worry about it.
Can I wash my Winky in your kitchen sink?
look at those horns
Check out the funbags on this tube dog
Check out the funbags on this tube dog!
Please check!
Come on, give me the schnapps, you little pumpkin pie haircut freak, come on!
Cop: Come on! Gimme the booze, you little pumpkin pie freak with your hair cut off! light up!
Uh sir, I wouldn't drink that if I were you!
Cop: You'd shut up if you knew what was good for you, bro
>choke<
Harry: tic tac sir?
Cop: Get out of here!
Policeman: Stop!
Harry: No cardigan, but thanks for asking!
Policeman: Stop! Harry: No, it's a cardigan! But thanks for the hint! Lloyd: Yes! Killer boots, man!
COP: Hold on!!! Harry: Huh? COP: Hold on!!!
Harry:
[as he looks at his sweater]:
No it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing!!
Have you heard of The Monkeys? They were a big influence on the Beatles...
Did you pay the gas bill?
DO YOU RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU DID?!?
Don't you understand the concept of OTHER PEOPLE?
Don't attack me now!
Dons hot, Heathers hot, they should get together and make hot babies or jump off a diving board and call it gonna reah
Won't you die of me!
Guy in the restaurant: kick his ass seabass!!!
Sorry Flo?Flo like the TV show!
Excuse me, can you tell me where the university is? I'm supposed to do a lecture in about 20 minutes and my drivers are a bit lost. Go straight and then left over the bridge. That's a nice accent you have, New Jersey. Austria. Austria Hello buddy, how about another shrimp on the barbie? don't let us
sorry Flo? (hehe) What is the Soup De Jour? (It's the soup of the day...) Mmmm... That sounds good. i will have this
Excuse me, is it 10 o'clock already? No sir, it's 1pm. Yes I have that too, I was just hoping mine would be a little quick
Excuse me please? Do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… boys boys boys
Excuse me Flo, what's the soup of the day?
Excuse me...can you tell me how to get to the medical center? I'm supposed to make lunch in about 20 minutes and my drivers are a bit lost.
Sorry... Flo. What is the soup of the day? Flo: This is the soup of the day. Harry: um... that sounds good... i'll take that.
Feels good to mix in with that laid back country folk, doesn't it? I REALLY LIKE IT.
fell off the jetway again.
fell off the passenger boarding bridge again.
Find a happy place.
find a happy place
flush you bastard!
footlong, wer hat den footlong!
For God's sake just give me the damn number!
Freda told me the whole shabby story about Mr. French Tickler
From here?
Good day my friend! Let's put another chimpanzee on Barbie!
Gosh, I thought the Rocky Mountains were a little rockier than this one.
Yeah, that Jon Denvers full of shit
stop calling Get out…
Get out of here you freaks with your pumpkin pie hairs cut off
Gimme the booze, you pumpkin pie haircut freak!
Good on my love!!
Goodbye my darling!
Goodbye my love
Goodbye my looooooov (giant airbag deploys after hitting a car)
Goodbye my darling!!!!!!
Got a little splashy from that pass back there, huh, har?
H: She wrote me a John Dear letter...something I wasn't listening to enough, I don't know...I wasn't really paying attention.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! (llyod on his way to mary after giving harry the x-lax)
Give me the schnapps, you pumpkin pie freak!
HARRY I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS
Harry, I took care of that
harry the speed...
Harry, your hands are freezing!!!!!
HARRY! your hands are freeeeeeezing!
HARRY!!! You live... and a terrible shot
Harry, I took care of that!
Harry, I took care of it….
Harry, you're alive... and you're a terrible shot
HARRY, YOUR HANDS FREEZE!!
Harry your hands are FRRREEEEZZZZIINGG!!!
Harry, I took care of that!
Harry - I can't feel my hands, they're, they're numb... Lloyd - oooo, here you can put on that extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to sweat. Harry: You had an extra pair of gloves with you the whole time?! Lloyd- ya!, we're in the Rockies! Harry - I'll kill you!
Harry, I can't believe there isn't a single job in this town.
Llyod-Ya, unless you want to work 40 hours a week
Harry-Once we successfully mated a Bulldog with a Shitzue
Mary-Really. That's weird
Harry-Ya uh ya, we called it bullshit
harry-skiies, kool, are they yours? -Lady- Uh huh. -harry- both of you? -lady- yeah... -harry- oh kool.
Loyd - it's you, Harry - it's you!
harry- nice horns you have there -mary- please pard-harry- the owls, they are beautiful!
Harry- how you make 25 dollars more-Loyd- I sold the sum to _____ -harry- THE BLIND CHILD! Well, what did you sell him, Loyd? -loyd-you know, a bag of marbles, baseball cards (cough, cough!) -harry- YOU SOLD MY DEAD BIRD TO A CHILD!
-loyd- we have no food, we have no jobs, OUR PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF! -HARRY- ok loyd, just calm down!
-loyd- suck me sideways!
-loyd- I'm talking about a place called Aspen... -harry- I don't know Loyd, the French are assholes!
Harry….I took care of it!
Harry… I took care of that!
Harry...what if they shoot you in the face?
Harry..It's Mary!
Harry: So what happened, he got his meal for free and got away with it?
Lloyd: No, about a half mile down the road they caught up with him and cut his throat! It was good!
(Harry speeds up truck)
Harry: We went skiing, had a snowball fight, she touched my leg...
Lloyd: OK KILL HIM!!!
Harry: What is that?
Lloyd: A moment of love
Harry: What's in it?
Lloyd: Man, what wicked life would be snooping around in someone else's personal belongings?
Harry: Is it locked?
Lloyd: Yeah, pretty good too
*knocking on the door*
Harry: There are two people out there with guns
Lloyd: Did you pay the gas bill? DO YOU RECOGNIZE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE?!?!
Harry: Don't worry ma'am, I stand by my performance. I maintained, washed and trimmed these dofs myself.
(door opens)
Harry: Come to think of it, maybe you should just comb through them.
HARRY: Good plan, where does she live?
LLOYD: I don't know
HARRY: What's her last name? I'll check
LLOYD: Uhh... you know, I can't really remember. It starts with an S. Swim,swammy,ss,slippy,slappy,slimmon,sommon,simmons,som,swans,swenson,swanson?
HARRY: Maybe it's on the briefcase, look at the-
LLOYD: OH YES! It's right here, Samsonite.... I was far away but I knew it started with an S
Harry: Hallo Loyd
Loyd: Hey Harry
Harry: How was your day?
Loyd: OK... fell off the jetway again.
Harry: I got fired today
Loyd: Man! You are a pathetic loser! … No offense
harry: oh, none forgiven
Harry: I thought the Rocky Mountains were a little trickier than this.
Lloyd: Ya...I thought the same thing...that John Denver sucked!
Harry: I'm freezing, Loyd... my hands are freezing. Loyd: Oh why don't you use those gloves, my hands got a little sweaty. Harry: Are you telling me that you had two pairs of gloves on the whole time? Loyd: Yeah...we're in the Rockies. Harry: I will kill you! Loyd: What? Harry: I'll kill you, Loyd! I'm going to throw this damn curse in this damn pond (refers to a briefcase full of money).
Harry: Nice horns you have there. Mary: Excuse me?!. Harry: The owls
Harry: Nice skis. Girl: Thank you. Harry: Are they yours? girl: yes Harry: Both of them? Girl: yes… Harry: cool!
Harry: Once we successfully mated a Bulldog with a Shiatsu.
Maria: Really? That's unusual.
Harry: Yes, we called it bullshit. Hahaha!
Harry: Once we successfully mated a bulldog with a shih tzu.
Maria: Really? That's weird.
Harry: Yes, we call it nonsense! (laughs)
Harry: Skier, huh?
Beth: That's right!
Harry: Great! they belong to you
Beth: Uh-huh.
Harry: Both?
Beth: Um... yes
Harry: Ah … cool!
Harry: So you got fired today?
Lloyd: Yes, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident.
Harry: I lost my job today too.
Lloyd: Man, you're a pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: Those are your skis?
Chick: Yes.
Harry: Both?
Chick: (impatient) Yes.
Harry: Cool.
Harry: What's her name, I'll look it up? Lloyd: You know, I can't really remember, but it started with an S, Swimmy, Sawmmy, Swammy, Swimmin, Samon, Swamon, Swanson. Harry: Look at the briefcase, maybe it's on the briefcase. Lloyd: OH YES! Here it is: Samsonite, I was pretty screwed, but I knew it started with an S.
Harry: What's her name, I'll look it up? Lloyd: You know, I can't really remember, but it started with an S, Swimmy?, Sawmmy?, Swammy?, Swimmin?, Samon?, Swamon?, Swanson?, Swanson? Harry: Look at the briefcase, maybe it's on the briefcase. Lloyd: OH YES! Here it is: Samsonite, I was pretty screwed, but I knew it started with an S.
Harry: Where did you get $25?
LLoyd: I sold some stuff.
Harry: An wen?
Lloyd: Billy executioner
Harry: The blind child?
Lloyd: Me hahaha, *hust* Me, me
Harry: Wow, how did you learn that!
Lloyd: I saw it in a movie.
Harry: What's happening?
Lloyd: They track him down and kill him!
Harry: Yeah, I called her, she told me a bunch of crap because I wasn't listening to her or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention
Harry: Yeah, I called her, she told me a bunch of crap because I wasn't listening to her or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
Harry: and one of them has a gun
Lloyd: Harry... did you pay the gas bill?
Harry grimaces and indicates that he didn't pay for it
Lloyd: Do you realize what you did?
Harry: I was expecting the Rocky Mountains to be a bit rockier
Lloyd: Yes... That John Denver is an asshole
Harry: I will kill you. Lloyd: What? Harry: I will kill you! i will kill you lloyd Lloyd: Calm down. Harry: Right now, I'm going to kill you.
Harry: Petey is dead Loyd: what? how did he die? harry: his head fell off loyd: what? Harry: Yes, he was quite old!
He said do you love me? And she said: No! But this is a really nice ski mask !!
He makes me angry...I almost like it.
Heather has nice horns.... Forgiveness? …. The owl, they are great
Heather has some nice horns... sorry? …… their owls, they are great.
Here I have my extra gloves, my hands are getting a little sweaty
Here it is! Samsonite! I was far away! I knew it started with an S.
Hey guys, big mouthfuls, huh? … See you later.
Hey guys, BIG GUGS huh… well see you later!
Hello folks. Big sips huh. See you later.
Hello Hallehupa!
Hey look Frost......vvvoooeeemmm !!!
Hey look they got the monkeys They had a huge influence on the Beatles
Hey Peter
Hey, what's her name, I'll look it up. Sammy, swammy, slappy, swimmy, swinson, swanson... Hey, check the briefcase, maybe it's there. Samsonite... I was far away.
Hey, where did you get these? I bought them when we were stocking up. Lloyd, we're supposed to talk about all expenses, we're on a very tight budget. No, that does not come from our travel fund. I was able to earn $25 extras before we left. where did you get 25bucks. I sold money to Billy Enforcements. the blind child! Yes / Yes. what did you sell him lloyd. Things. what things. I don't know, some baseball cards, a bag of marbles (cough), Petey. Petey you sold my dead bird to a blind kid, he what you Petey didn't even have a head. Harry, I took care of that.
Hey, do you know the most annoying noise in the world? EEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, how about a hug?…. I hate goodbyes!!!!!!!!
Hey, how about a hug? …….SHHH..just go..
Hey, sweater... No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.
Hello Lloid, hello Harry. How was your day? Not bad, fell off the jetway again.
HI, we have plenty of towels, thank you
how about a hug
How the hell do they know I have gas?
how was your day lloyd Fell off the passenger boarding bridge again.
+ Oh yes, sucked them right into the tractor beam.
DID YOU PAY THE TANKMAN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
how's your burger
how's your burger
Husband? Wait a minute... what was all that one-in-a-million talk?
Husband? What was all that one in a million talk?
Husband? What was all that one in a million talk?
I can't believe there isn't a single job out there. there is nothing. Yes...unless you want to work forty hours a week.
I can't believe there isn't a single job in this whole town. Yes, unless you want to work 40 hours a week!
Can't believe we actually did it, huh, mate
I can't feel my tongue.
I really want to sleep with a schoolboy.
I WANT TO LOVE WITH A SCHOOL BOY URGENTLY!
I really want to sleep with a schoolboy.
I really want to sleep with a schoolboy.
I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
I don't know, Lloyd, the French are assholes.
I don't know and I don't care
I fell off the jet again...
I fell off the jetway again
I fell off the passenger boarding bridge again.
I fell off the slopes again
I was robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
I was robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't see it coming!
I got robbed from my little old lady on a motorized cart... and I didn't even see it coming!
i have worms
I hate goodbyes!
I hate goodbyes! Pssst... just go.
I hate goodbyes..!
I have this cousin, well I had this cousin...
I have this cousin, well I had this cousin
I have this uncle. Well I had this uncle
I just get this old fashioned romantic feeling…. where I would do anything to bone them.
I just thought he was really calm
I just thought he was very calm.
I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC, TEN A.M.!
I just thought she was a raging alcoholic!
I really like it
I really like it!
I like it I like it a lot
I like that. I like it a lot.
I like that accent you have there, what's that? New Jersey
I specialize in k9 DOGS for the layman
I swallowed a large June bug while driving. I'm not really hungry.
I thought the Rockies were a little rockier than that...yeah, that John Denver is full of shit, man.
I thought the Rockies were a little rockier than that. 2. Yes, that John Denver is full of shit!
I thought the Rocky Mountains were way rockier than these! Yeah, John Denver is full of shit, man
I thought the Rocky Mountians were a little rockier than this one. That John Denver sucks, man.
I would never do anything to offend a man of that size.
I'd like to eat their liver with a side of broad beans and a bottle of Chianti
I'd love to eat their liver with farver beans and a nice khianti.
I'll be at the bar turning off the VIBE!.
I'll tell you where we're going, to a warm place, to a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women flow like salmon from Capistrono. I'm talking about a little place called Assssspppppnnnn...... I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
I'll tell you where. Somewhere warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women flow instinctively like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Assspennn.
I'm gonna throw that damn curse straight into that damn pond!
I'm not getting dressed now. Wiz in one of those beer bottles in the back... ahh, sorry officer, I wouldn't drink that.
I'm talking about a little place called Aspen. I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
I'm talking about a warm place. Somewhere where the beer flows like wine. A place where women instinctively flock like Capastrano salmon.
I'm tired of struggling through life and I'm tired of being nobody and having nobody!!
I'm here!!
I was mugged by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart...I didn't even see it coming.
I have worms!
I had it with this dump! We have no food, we have no jobs, our pets' HEADS are PULLING OFF!
If you think you're stupid, look at me!
I'll tell you where we're going... to a warm place, to a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flow like the salmon from Capistrano... I'm talking about a little place called Aspen... oh I know Don't loyd, the French are assholes.
I'm going to kill you
I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to give me an honest answer Mary..what are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?
It's okay, I'm a limousine driver!
It's a bunch of guys going to Colorado. We have a brand on the vehicle. You're in an 84...German Shepherd.
It's more sparkling than hot.
It is in order! ... I'M A LIMO DRIVER!
It's OK, I'm a limousine driver!
It's like stealing candy from a baby, but easier
JOHNY CRACKER...Mann your only pathetic loser
Just give me the booze, you pumpkin pie haircut freak
Just when I'm thinking you couldn't possibly get any dumber you go and do something, lie that.. AND DELIVER YOURSELF COMPLETELY!
Just when I think you couldn't get any dumber you go and pull a stunt here…..AND REEDEEM YOU COMPLETELY
Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber you go and do something like this and redeem yourself completely
Just when I thought you couldn't be STUPID, you go and pull that stunt...and totally redeem yourself!
Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber you go and do something like this...and totally redeem yourself!
Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber you go and do something like this and redeem yourself COMPLETELY!
k
Kick his ass sea bass!
Kick his ass sea bass.
Kick his ass sea bass!
Killerstiefel, Mann!
Killerstiefel Mann!!
Killerstiefel, Mann!!
Do you know what I'm sick of Harry? I'm sick of being a nobody, and more than that... I'm sick of having nobody.
L: I was expecting the Rocky Mountains to be a bit rockier.
H: I thought the same.
L: This John Denver is full of shit, man.
Last but not least, foot long. Who has the foot long!
Let's throw another shrimp at the barbie!
Let's go to the bar and get some bowls of Bigmouth Soup.
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get
Like 1 out of 100? More like 1 in a million. So you say there is a chance!
Lloyd (with an Australian accent): Hello, mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Austrian girl: Let's not.
LLoyd – I'll bet you $20 I can get you betting by the end of the week. I give you odds of 2:1, 5:1, 10:1. Harry – YOU ARE THERE. LLoyd - I'll get you... I don't know how, but I'll get you
Lloyd: I'm only human, Harry. Come on! So we backtracked a bit!
Harry: A little? A little, Lloyd?! You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd Christmas: That's a nice accent you have. New Jersey?
Lady at the bus stop: Austria.
Lloyd Christmas: Austria! Well then. Good day my friend! Ha. Ha. Ha. Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Lady at the bus stop: Let's not.
Lloyd, just when I thought you couldn't possibly get any dumber... you go and do something like that... and you COMPLETELY redeem yourself
Lloyd, how do you rate the odds that a guy like you and a girl like me might end up dating?
Mary-Not good.
Lloyd-Not good like 1 out of 100?
Mary-More like 1 in 1,000,000?
Lloyd: So you're saying there's a chance? O I read you loud and clear
Lloyd...Ahh...I hate goodbyes
Lloyd: Sorry. Hey, do you have change for a dollar?
Lil Old Lady: No, sorry.
Lloyd: Hey, can you mind my stuff. While I'm breaking a dollar? Many Thanks. Hey, I think you're right. Seniors, while slow and dangerous at the wheel, can still serve a purpose. Don't die to me!
Lloyd: Oh? $100 a plate dinner? Well… put us on four.
Harry: Yes, if we need seconds.
Lloyd: Flickers? Of Cranston? Harry: Do you know her? Lloyd: No, I just remember you talking about her.
LLOYD: Harry, we're going to a little place called Aspen...
HARRY: I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
Lloyd: Hey, I think you're right: seniors; although slow and dangerous behind the wheel - can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back, don't die on me!
Lloyd: I'll bet you twenty bucks I can get you to make a bet before the day is out.
Harry: It's your turn.
Lloyd: I don't know how to do it, but I will.
Lloyd: Man, you must be a mean person to rummage through other people's private property!
Harry: Is it locked?
Lloyd: Yes, really good!
Lloyd: So what do you want to do? Harry: how about something to eat? Lloyd: Nah, I swallowed a big June bug while driving, I'm not really hungry.
Lloyd: So where are you going?
Maria: Wait.
Lloyd: Hmmm, California. Nice!
Lloyd: Some warm place, a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flow like salmon from Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me getting together?
Maria: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean not good like 1 in 100?
Mary: I'd say more like 1 in a million.
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance? Yes!
Lloyd: What's the soup of the day?
Waitress: Soup of the day
Lloyd: Mmmmm... sounds good... I think I'll have one.
Lloyd: Where did you go?
Maria: Wait.
Lloyd: California! Nice.
Lloyd: Why don't we go to Aspen? Harry: I don't know Lloyd, I hate the French.
Lloyd: Why are you going to the airport...flying somewhere? Mary: What makes you think that? Lloyd: Well I saw your luggage and when I saw your plane ticket I put two and two together.
Lloyd: Why did you drive to the airport and fly somewhere? Mary: What makes you think that? Llyod: Well I saw the luggage and then noticed the plane ticket and put 2 and 2 together. So where are you going? Mary: Aspen Lloyd: Mmmm, California, beautiful. The names Christmas..Lyod Christmas Mary: I'm Mary Swanson Lloyd: That's not my real job, you know Mary: No? Lloyd: No, my friend Harry and I are saving up to buy our own pet shop. i have worms Maria: I beg your pardon. Lloyd: I have worms, that's what we call it. We're going to specialize in selling worm farms, you know, like ant farms... what's up, little tense about the flight? Mary: Something like that. Lloyd: You know, Mary, there's really nothing to worry about. Statistically they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport, you know, like a head-on collision or falling off a cliff or being pinned under a gas truck, that's the worst. I have this cousin, well I HAD this cousin. Mary: Llyod, can you please keep your eyes on the road. Lloyd: Mmm well thought, you can't be too careful, lots of bad drivers out there
Lloyd: Mary, what are the odds for a guy like you and a girl like...
look at that ass Yes, I bet it works.
look at the buns on it! ……. yes, he has to exercise
Look at that butt!!!!! Yeahhhh, , ,he needs to train!!
look at the butt Yes, he has to train.
Look at the bags of fun on this tube dog!
Look at the pranksters on this tube dog!
Loyd, you sold Pettie to a blind kid?? Harry, I took care of that!
Loyd: Excuse me, Flo? Waitress: yes? Loyd: What's the soup dujour? Waitress: This is the soup of the day. Loyd: Mmm, that sounds good. I will have some.
Loyd: Why are you going to the airport? fly somewhere? Mary: Oh, what makes you think that? Loyd: Well, when I put the luggage in the trunk and saw the plane ticket, I put two and two together.
Loyd: That's a nice accent you have there! New Jersey? Women: Austria! Loyd: Ohh, in that case, hello mate, let's put another shrimp on the barbie! Women: Let's not.
Loydd: Your hands are freezing, here take these. Harry - you had two pairs of gloves the whole time! Loydd-...Pshh chaaa were in the Rocky Mountains!
MAAAAAAAN...... you're a pathetic loser
Man Reading Letter: Sorry gas man, we took the money to Aspen! Wow, these guys are good, they must have been following us for weeks. GIRL: What do you mean by that? MAN: How do you know I have gas?
Man Reading Letter: Sorry gas man, we took the money to Aspen! Wow, these guys are good, they must have been following us for weeks. GIRL: What do you mean by that? MAN: How do you know I have gas? GIRLS, these guys must be professionals
Man...I thought the Rocky Mountains were way more rockin'...yeah...that John Denver is full of shit
Manalino) gas man? How the hell do they know I have gas? Hot Chick) These guys must be professionals.
Getting Married: Any Unusual Bread?
Harry: No, mostly just doggy style.
Mary Swanson: Lloyd, this is my husband.....
Cop: HE HAS A GUN!!!
Lloyd: (while firing a full bullet at Mary's husband) AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Mary, I really want to sleep with a school boy
Mary-Harry, what are you doing in there? Harry - uh... shave Mary - ok, I hope you don't use the toilet! It's broken.
Mary: So will you pick me up at 7:45 tonight? Harry: Well, I've got a lot to do, so we can't make it by a quarter to eight? Mary: hahaha stop it! Harry: Okay, 7:45 it is.
Mary: any unusual breed
lloyd: no, mostly doggy style
Maybe she'll invite us to tea and trumpets.
Mock *yeah!* -ing *yeah!* Vogel *yeah!* yeah! *ja*
Mock yea ing yea bird yea yea yea mockingbird haven't you all heard (did you hear) she wanna buy me a mock... and when your mockingbird gone buy me a diamond ring... hey harry there are some people there who have favourited Do you want to ride too...HOL EM UP!!! mock sea ing sea bird sea sea sea
Mock me, ing me, Vogel me, me me, Spottdrossel…..mock you, ing you, Vogel you….
Mock! Yes! ING! Yes! BIRD! Yes! YES! Yes! mocking bird! all have you heard?! I'll buy myself a mocking bird!
Mocking, yes, ing, yes, bird, yes, yes, yes, mockingbird, not everyone heard you. She's going to buy me a mocking bird. And if that mockingbird doesn't sing, she'll buy me a diamond ring, and if that diamond ring doesn't shine. Hey Loyd, a few people want to ride there too. pick them up! … (music starts) mock, si, ing, si, bird, si, si, si …
mock, yes, ing, yes, BIRD, yes, yes, yes,
mock... yes. ing... yeah... bird... yeah... mockingbird don't sing blah blah blha blha
mocking>>YEAH>>ing>>YEAH>>bird>>YEAH>>yeah>>YEAH>>mocking bird now you all heard......she will buy me a mocking bird....and if that mocking bird doesn't sing... ...her gonna buy me a diamond ring....and if that diamond ring doesn't shine....>>LLOYD, LLOYD, LOOK THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE>>Pick them up!!!!!
Move it or lose it sister!
MURDERER: So why are you even going to Espen?
Lloyd: Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you.. ::giggles::
MURDERER: Yeah, it seemed like you didn't pack much. All I saw was some shirts and this briefcase.
Harry: Yeah, and the briefcase doesn't even belong to us. Some lady forgot it at the airport. We're bringing it back to her right now. How's your burger?! ::uncontrollable giggles::
My hands are freezing. Oh I have two pairs, do you want one? You had two pairs of gloves the whole time?? Yes, we're in the Rockies!
Nice accent, New Jersey? No Austria….Oh! Let's put another shrimp on the barbi!
Nice Hooters, I mean the birds.
Nice horns. The owls - they are beautiful.
Beautiful Hooters... The owls, they are beautiful.
Nice set of hooters you have there. I'm sorry. the owls are beautiful. Oh you are a bird lover. Me, no, I used to have a parakeet, now my specialty when K-9s dogs are full. o I love dogs, so how busy are you with them. o I train them, cut them, bathe them, I even breaded them. o really any unusual breed. No, mostly just doggy style as we once paired a bulldog with a shit-zu. oh that's really weird. Yes, we called it a bullshit.
nice set of hot ones you have there
NICE SKIIES!, THANK YOU, THEY ARE YOURS?, YES, BOTH FROM AROUND?
no and I don't care
No Lloyd is more like one in a million... So you're saying there's a chance!
No, that didn't come from our travel fund. I was able to pick up an additional $25 before we left. How do you get 25 extra dollars? I sold some things. to whom? Billian foreseen. whuuhh THE BLIND CHILD? huhuhuh yes!……….yes. what did you sell him? A couple of baseball cards, a bag of marbles......(cough) Petey. You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lyod, Petey didn't even have a head! Harry, I took care of that
No way! That's great! WE LANDED ON THE MOON!
No way! We landed on the moon, all right!!!!
No way! WE LANDED ON THE MOON!!!
No way, that's great... we landed on the moon
No, you're the one whose brain has the shell
no...they met him a mile down the road and cut his throat......
don't see harry
NOTE: Dear Gasman: Sorry the $ moved to Aspin
Oh no... Lloyd: What happened? Harry. Harry: It's Peety. Lloyd: Oh. Harry: His head fell off.
Oh, so you are Mr. Samsonite.
Oh you're gonna love it I hear California is beautiful this time of year.
Once we successfully bread a bulldog and a shitsu. Do you know what we called it? Nonsense!
Our pet's heads are falling off!
Our pet's HEADS are falling OFF!!
Our pets' heads fall off!!!
Our pets' heads fall off!
Our pets' heads fall off!
Forgive me Mister PERFECT!! I forgot you never make a mistake
Peace sees his journey
Peter?? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?? Lloyd, Petey didn't have a head!!
Pick her up!!
Pills are good, pills are good.
pills are good pills are good
Please Mr. Sampsonite
Cop: Hey, pull over Harry: WHAT?! Cop: Stop
Harry: NO! It's a cardigan but thanks for noticing Llyod: YES killer boots man
Cop: Stop
No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!
pretty bird pretty bird Polly do you want crackers?
Beautiful bird
Beautiful bird! Beautiful bird!
Pretty Bird....Pretty Bird
Pretty bird... Pretty bird, yes... You're a pretty bird!
pull over
Put on... No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing
Pull over! No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for asking.
Pullover! ... No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing ... you killer boots, man!
pull over…
No, it's a Carnigan, but thanks for the message
Drop us off for four, we might want seconds.
Quick Harry, throw some salt over your left shoulder
Radio? Who needs a radio?
Samsonite, I've been far away
Sea Bass: Are you going to eat that burger?
Harry: What that….no….em yeah…no…well, it just occurred to me.
(Seabass Leg in Harry's Burger)
Lloyd: Man you really courted!
Harry: What do you mean courted! The guy crouched in my burger!
Seabass felt bad about what happened at lunch and offered to pick up our check. Seabass said that? Well, if that guy over there is Seabass.
Seniors may be slow and dangerous, but they still serve a purpose! don't die from me
Seniors, while slow and dangerous at the wheel, can still serve a purpose. don't die from me
She broke up with me because I wasn't listening to her enough or something. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.
She told me a bunch of crap because I wasn't listening to her or something, I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.
She says I have the mind of a rapist.
SHHHHH…..just go!
So he says - do you love me and she says - no, but that's a really nice ski mask!!
So he says do you love me? And she says no, but that's a really nice ski mask.
So you got fired again, huh. Yes, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident. Yes, I lost my job too. Man you're a pathetic loser, no offense man. no, nothing taken. (laughs). You know what really breaks my ass, even though I've spent my life turning my van into a dog, the alarm alone cost me 200. Hey, don't worry, it's a damn car. what about the breif case. It's a love moment from the most beautiful woman I've ever known. I drove to the airport, sparks flew, she actually talked to me, man. go out. Yeah, tractor beams, wooo, sucked me right in, they left that at the airport and flew to Aspen out of my life. What is inside. Hey, I'd have to be an idiot to walk around near someone else's property. it is locked. yes pretty good. (knock on the door) there are 2 of them, one of them has a gun. Once you've paid the gas bill, you realize what you've done. I'm sorry to say we go bail. OK. (drive away, come home) I can't believe there ain't a single job in this town, nothing but a zip code. Yes, unless you want to work 40 hours a week.
So where are you going?
Espe
ah California beautiful
So why are you going to the airport...flying somewhere?
So you're saying there's a chance
So you pick me up at 7:45? ... No, I have something to take care of, more like quarter to eight.
SO SAY THERE IS A CHANCE
So you're telling me there's a chance?
Some people just aren't cut out for life on the road!
in a warm place… in a place where the beer flows like wine… in a place where beautiful women instinctively frolic like Capistrano salmon
Son of a bitch! (Gurgle Gurgle)...Loyd - Come on man it wasn't your fault! Harry-Yes, but he blamed me for hearing his last words! Loyd-Well, not if you count that gurgling noise.
I'm sorry Mr Perfect. I forgot you never make a mistake!
Story about the blind Rhode Island boy who was tricked into buying a dead parrot………….Who are these sick people?
Suck me sideways...
SIDE SUCK ME!
Great, thanks for asking
Swa, Swani, Swan, Swanso, Swanson. Maybe it's the briefcase. Samsonite! I was far away
Swammy, slippy, slappy, swanson... Maybe it's the briefcase... Oh, here it is, Samsonite. I was close, I knew it started with an S.
swimy..swmy…swanson..swainson…swanson…?
look at the briefcase!!
Oh!!! Samsonite!!! I was gone!!
I don't see it here, llyod!
Perhaps the number is not listed!
T-t-ha—
it's a tough question that
Tell her I have a rapist joke
Tell her I'm rich and I have a rapist joke!
Tell her I have the mind of a rapist.
that John Denver is full of shit
That John Denver is full of shit, man.
That John Denver was full of shit, man!
This John Denver is full of shit.
that John Denvers full of shit man.
THIS IS REALLY CHANGING ME!!
That's a nice accent you have. New Jersey?
That's a nice accent you have. New Jersey?
Austria.
Austria! Well then, good day buddy! Let's put another shrimp on the barby!
don't let us
That's a nice accent you have... New Jersey?
-Austria
Austria! Well then, good day buddy. ha ha. let's put another shrimp on the bobi!
-Let's not.
That's it! I had it with this dump! We have no food, we have no jobs, our pets are FALLING OFF!
That's it, cry well... ok, that's enough
That's quite the accent you have there. New Jersey?
That's a nice accent you have.., New Jersey? Austria. Oh Austria… well mate, why don't we throw another shrimp on the barbie.
that's a nice accent you have there. New Jersey?
Lady: Austria
Well, in that case, G'day mate. Let's put another shrimp on top of the barby
Lady: Let's not
When I first saw Mary, I just had this old-fashioned romantic feeling where I would do anything to bang her.
When I first saw Mary Swanson, I just had this old-fashioned romantic feeling that I would do anything to bang her.
The gas man? How did they know I had gas?
There isn't a single job in this whole town!
Yes, unless you want to work 40 hours a week!
pssch!
You really don't need to worry about Mary. Statistically, you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like a head-on collision or falling off a cliff or being pinned under a tanker truck. This is the worst! I have this cousin, well I had this cousin...
This is amazing what more could 2 single guys ask for. how about sum food I ate a big June bug on the way, I'm not really hungry. Well I'm Stravin (stumbles upon a man and a girl) o Jez, look at that butt. yes he has to train
THIS IS THE ONLY CORRECT VERSION OF IT: Big Gulps huh? WelP, see you later! (It's WELP, not GOOD!!)
Tic-tac, sir?
Tic-Tac-Sir
Tick tock, sir?
TICK TAC SIR?
Tick Tac Sir?!?!
Tick Tack Sir?
turbo lax, just half a teaspoon for fast and effective relief!
you...uhhh...sucked some of grandpa's old cough syrup, right?
you heard it! he blamed me! those were his last words. not if you count that gurgling sound...
You know, that feeling where you would do anything to bone her.
oh, oh, yeah, that's something special.
is
wait...wait...ya, I just had an idea
Wait a minute, yeah, I think I just, yeah, I just had an idea
Do you want to hear the most annoying noise in the world? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Do you want to hear the most annoying noise in the world?
Want to hear the mosyt annoing sound in the world? EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, boys boys boys! Can't we just turn on the radio or something? RADIO!?! who needs radio ready Har?? Yah. Mock. YAH. ING. YAH. BIRD. YAH. YES / YES. MOCKING BOARD NOT EVERYONE HEARD U. HAVE YOU HEARD. HE WILL BUY ME A SPOTBIRD. AND WHEN THE SPOTBIRD DON'T SING. BIRDD DOES NOT SING. HE WILL BUY YOU A DIAMOND RING, DIAMOND RING, AND IF THIS DIAMOND RING.... SEE HITCHIKERS... PICK THEM UP!
pay attention to the seats! Watch out for the SEATS!
We don't usually pick up hitchhikers...but I'll follow my instincts in this case. Come in!
We don't usually hitchhike, but I'll go with instinct on this one... saddle up partners
We have no food, we have no money, and our pets' heads are falling off!
Haaaaarry
We have no food, no jobs... OUR PET FALLS OFF!
We have no food, no jobs... our pets' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF
We have no food, we have no jobs, our pets' heads are falling off!!!
We have no food, we have no jobs, OUR PETS FALL OFF!
We have no food...we have no jobs...our pets' heads are falling off!!
We have no money, we have no food, our pets' heads are falling off!!
We need to get you ready for the Cinderella ball!!!
We have no food, we have no money, our pets are FALLING OFF!
We have no jobs, no money! OUR PETS' HEADS FALL OFF!!!!
We have plenty of towels, thank you!
We have landed on the moon!
We don't usually pick up hitchhikers, but I have a good feeling about this one. Saddle up, partner!
We successfully got a Bulldog to mate with a Shih Tzu. We call it bullshit.
We're 26,000 miles from Graceland, what do you think of my bra?
We're in a hole, Harry. We just have to dig ourselves out.
We're in a hole... we just have to dig ourselves out.
We are at Seabass
Well I saw your luggage and then when I saw the plane ticket I put two and two together.
What are the chances of a girl like me and a guy like you ever getting together?
What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me getting together? like one in a hundred?-
more like one in a million..-
So you tell me there's a chance
What the hell?!! That's not from dumb & dumber!!
What's the matter Harry? Any Philly breaks your heart? >> No, it was a girl.
What is your surname? I'm looking for. Ummmm Slappy Slippy Slappy Swanson..Hey look in the briefcase....O here SAMSONITE....huh I was way off the mark!
What is the soup of the day?
It's the soup of the day.
Mmm, that sounds good, I'll take that.
What is the soup DuJour? It's the soup of the day. That sounds good. i will have this
What's the matter Harry, a little filly breaking your heart?
No, it was a girl.
where are you going. fly somewhere
Where are you going. Aspen. Ahh, California, beautiful!
Where are you going? Aspen. Ahh, California, beautiful!
where is the schnapps I was robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart, I didn't even see it coming. ooh Harry, Harry. it gets worse llyod my parakett petey. Yes. he is dead. o I am sorry about what happened. his head fell off. his head. yes it was quite old. I had it with this dump, we have no food, we have no jobs, our pets' heads are falling off!! ok just calm down What the hell are we going to do with Harry? We have to get out of this town. go where we're going. I know somewhere warm, where the beer flows like wine, somewhere where the women pour us salmon from Copistrano, I'm talking about a little place called Espe. I don't know the French assholes.
Who ARE these sick people?
Who is the dead man who hit me with the salt shaker?
Whoa, look at the fun pouches on this tube dog
Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you! (chuckles)
Why don't you eat up and I'll tell you.
Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you
Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you!
Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you
Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you.
Why don't you eat up and we'll tell you
Why are you going to the airport? fly somewhere?
Why are you going to the airport...flying somewhere?
Wein em' dine em' 69 em' Wolfsbarschhut
Woman with Austrian Accent:…Go straight and left over the bridge. Lloyd: That's a nice accent you have! New Jersey? Woman: Austria. Lloyd: Austria, wow! Well then, good day buddy! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie! Woman: Let's not!
Would you like to help us shoot a movie the sexy girls say then the guys say no thanks but there are guys around here that will do it
Wow, two lucky boys will be getting to ride around with these girls for the next few months.
yes he was quite old
Yeah I called her, she told me all this crap like I wasn't listening to her enough or something, I don't know I wasn't really paying attention.
Yes, I called her. She told me a bunch of crap because I wasn't listening to her enough or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
Yes, I called her. She was telling me a bunch of crap because I wasn't listening to her enough or something... I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
yeah... HE needs to exercise.
shout: Our pet's head falls off!!!
Yesterday was one of the best days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we built a snowman, she touched my leg.
All right, kill him!!
You're a little nervous about the fight. You know that dying on the way to the airport is more likely than in a car crash, a head-on collision, or getting stuck under a tanker truck, yes, that's the worst. I have this cousin well I had this cousin.
You sucked on grandpa's old cough medicine, right?
You big idiot!
You can't stop walking once you start. It stings!
You can't stop once you start... it burns
You can't triple stamp a double... You can't triple stamp a double... Lloyd, Lloyd... You can't triple stamp a double!!!!
you go first No! you go first No man, you go first! Uh uh you go first! Why don't you two go at the same time! OK. OK. It's not that bad.
are you hungry?..nope...i ate a junebug on the way
They just sold our headless parakeet to the blind boy
Keep calm you little freak with pumpkin pie hair.
You know, if we successfully bread a BullDgo with a shitsu. Do you know what we called it? A bullshit!
Do you know what I'm fed up with, Harry?
I'm tired of struggling through life. I'm tired of being nobody. But most of all...I'm sick of not having anyone.
You're telling me you had two pairs of gloves the whole time!?...PSHYA, we're in the ROCKYS!
You shot my best friend you BASTARD!!
You sold my dead bird to a blind child?!
Harry… I took care of that.
You sold our dead bird to a blind kid?
You sold the dead bird to the blind child?!?
You sold your petie to a blind kid?
You want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?
You want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? EHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Du willst den nervigsten Sound der Welt hören….? EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
You want the most annoying sound in the world?
You wouldn't believe all that street pizza—two dead dogs, a couple of rabbits, a snake, and a big thing I couldn't even see.
You'll have to excuse my friend here, he's a bit slow. The city - that's how it is!
You had two pairs of gloves on the whole time? Pssh yes, it's the Rockies
your hands are freezing
You're the one!!!
You had an extra pair of gloves the whole time, yes you were in the Rockies
Zach Nolin has a big moose in his head... What's that dan mcdermit, you little sausage poop? GIMUNDO
Subtopic: Movie Quotes from "Dumb and Dumber": Quotes from the movie "Dumb and Dumber"
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